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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595754">18</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinMeiko/pseuds/ShinMeiko'>ShinMeiko</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:12:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>383</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595754</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinMeiko/pseuds/ShinMeiko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff"><p>[Congratulations, you found one of the thirteen endings!]</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27567391">Start over?</a></p></div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Interactive chapter</td></tr>

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<a name="section0001"><h2>18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There is something magical about Ferris Wheels. I know they are not as exciting as other rides, but they draw me in a different way. The lights are really bright and the music is always slightly too loud, probably to be heard from the top, but I also find them very soothing. Especially when you are at the top and you can see the world from above.</p><p>It also really suits me right now because I can see everyone. Not that I have any real chance of spotting Blue from up here, or Blue seeing me, but… I can wrap myself in the feeling that Blue is there somewhere, in that small crowd, and that I can see him even if I don’t know it.</p><p>Abd it’s not exactly like I can’t distinguish people either. I can recognize a few people. A group of boys from the football team. A couple from my history class clearly out on a date. Bram and Garrett leaving the carnival. My next-door neighbor with his children…</p><p>And maybe Blue, somewhere.</p><p> </p><p>When I leave the Ferris Wheel, I am calmer. As predicted, it soothed me. I am not nervous anymore. I am… resigned.</p><p>Everything is properly closing now and I have the certainty that Blue will not show up now. Was he here? Did we miss each other? Or did he simply not show?</p><p>I will wait for him to email me. I can’t be the one pushing again. I need to stop putting that much pressure on him. I have been outed. I understand the incredible unfairness of having someone decide your timeline for you.</p><p>I am ready for Blue. But he isn’t ready for us. That’s fine. I am prepared to wait. Probably not forever, but at least a while longer.</p><p>And I know he will email. It will be awkward: all our emails have been lately. But as soon as he does, I will reply, and step by step, one email at a time, we will go back to how we were. Then we will get better. And, finally, he will get ready for me.</p><p>Blue and I will get through this. It wasn’t tonight, but that’s alright. It will come. Yes. I feel calm and confident.</p><p> </p><p>Apparently, all I needed was a Ferris Wheel.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[Congratulations, you found one of the thirteen endings!]</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27567391">Start over?</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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